Russian Roulette

A few years ago I came up with a philosophical concept in an attempt to prove my belief in G-d. A couple of weeks ago I was watching a program on G-d and the presenter discussed a theory known as Pascal's Wager. This theory was explored by a mathematician, perhaps 150 years ago and remarkably, this theory was similar if not the same to the concept I deducted years back.

The hypothesis question which I deducted is the following: Why believe in G-d, from a logical point of view?

Before starting, let us assume the following:
1. If one is an athiest, one does not believe in G-d and subsequently, one believes death is the end of life.
2. If one believes in G-d or spirituality, one believes that the soul lives on after death.


Now let us take 2 people. A believes in G-d and B does not. If G-d exists, then A is "right" so to speak and B is "wrong". If G-d doesnt exist, then B is "right" and A is "wrong". Theoretically, it is a 50/50 equation. Or is it? Let us consider further.

If there is no G-d, then subsequently, there is no life after death. A would be wrong and B would be right. However, assuming the first assumption, A would never know that he is wrong and B would never know he is right. Why? Because there would be no way of proving G-d after A or B is dead. So this cancels each other out.

Now if there is a G-d, then subsequently, there is life after death. A would be right and B would be wrong. In assuming the second assumption, both A and B would know that they are respectively right and wrong. Why? Because the souls of A and B would realise that life does not end at death as they would still be living after death.

Therefore the following conclusion can be made:
If you are A, you can either right or wrong, but you will never know if you wrong. Hence, you can only be right.
If you are B, you are either right or wrong, but you will never know if you right. Hence you can only be wrong.

This doesnt prove the existence G-d. But if I am a betting man, it would be much more wiser to bet on believing in G-d.

Your Irish Name Is...

Eoin Malone

What's your Irish Name?

You Are Boston

Both modern and old school, you never forget your roots. Well educated and a little snobby, you demand the best. And quite frankly, you think you are the best. Famous people from the Boston area: Conan O'Brien, Ben Affleck, New Kids on the Block

What American City Are You?

APATHY IS AWESOME

Mach 3 has been pimping it as of late. Co-incidentally, the volume of blog entries has drastically decreased. Is there a correlation?

Last night I went on a date with this Torah Academy girl. In the standard lines of courtship, I mentioned my passion was history and she asked me to explain further. Before I knew it, I was regurgitating political slanders from my website. She seemed relatively interested in what I had to say but nevertheless I tried to change the topic as if to say I used to be like that, ie. political, until I realised that anxiety over Iran and stressing about Hamas actually clouds all the good in the world.

I have come to the realisation that life is actually great. Yes apocalyptic revelations are around the corner but it is so much better to live on one’s own island or in fantasy land. Just for the record, I don’t in any way mean the Never Never Land Ranch.

Yes, one should stand up for what’s right and for one’s beliefs, but there is a time and a place for it. As for me, that time is ‘manyana’

In the past few months I have become anti-‘preppy’sised. That’s not to say I am militant, but rather apathetic. And I’m loving it ©. There is nothing wrong with being selfish and enjoying the superficial cheesy things that provide short term happiness in life. At the end of the day, life is all about cheese!

MACH 3 GOES TO HOLLYWOOD

Dear fans of Mach 3 gets militant, it is with a heavy heart that I wish to inform you that Mach 3 has nothing to be militant about. Yes there are serious, even 'fundamental', problems in the world, but I am taking a brief sabbatical from such chaos. Instead, I am focussing on my latest project which is producing a self-titled movie on my life called 'Mach 3: I hardly knew myself'. I have received keen interest from my friend Steven at Dreamworks and it looks promising. He asked if I could select a cast to play the key characters in the movie.

See below for the cast, if you can't recognise the actors or actual characters then leave a blog message and I'll asssist you.

THE ULTIMATE MORTAL COMBAT

I was bored in my sale lecture today and started drawing as you can obviously see

MACH 3'S PREDICTIONS

I dont wish to prophesise about doom and apocalyptic revelations. In fact i dont want to prophesise at all, considering the most obvious fact, i am not a prophet and secondly i may be wrong. But contrary to popular opinion i do have a mind and can rationalise as a person. In light of this i would like to make my predictions for the next few months in the middle east.

First and foremost, what few people understand about the middle east is that everything is linked and that the entire geo-politicl sphere of that region is in a transitional period where superpowers and the not so superpowers are playing high stakes blackjack in an attempt to assert dominance over the region and reshape their future in and of the middle east.

Iran is surrounded by US forces on both sides and they have a legitimate fear that they could be next. Israel's withdrawal from Gaza and Lebanon was seen by the Arab world as a sign of weakness. The US needs the oil and hegemonic status that it used to enjoy in the 1990's. It is a must win situation for all parties concerned and all states are choosing their friends and their foes wisely to advance their goals.

And it is under this climate that Hizbollah guerillas, tugged by the strings of Teheran and Damascus, seized on the opportunity of a fight and kidnapped 2 Israeli soldiers two weeks ago. The analogy I like to use is that of a school playground fight. Everyone is either on one side or the other making insulting and aggressive remarks, with the anxiety for the big fight. But here, a little pipsqweak of Hizbollah kicks the shin of the Israelis causing a domino of everyone piling into one another in a free for all.

For at least the next few weeks, Israel will keep up its military campaign in Lebanon with the tacit green light from Washington. At the moment, Syria and Iran have expressed a reluctancy to cause further tension. But let's not forget that just before the outbreak of violence in Israel, the key issue on the table for the international community was Iran's nuclear proliferation and its Stalinist-styled foreign policy. It is reasonable to believe that this attitude in Teheran has not changed over a fortnight and it is not far-fetched to believe that Iran are using Hizbollah to take the heat off them, until the time is right.

In the next few weeks, the water will become clearer as to the reasons for the escalation in violence. Israel will link Hizbollah's arms and soldiers to Syria. Tensions will lead to Israel flying jets over Assad's palace. Syria's intentions will become clearer. Syrian soldiers will be found in the Hizbollah army. Israel will bomb strategic Syrian infrastructures. Syria will turn to Iran. Iran will come into the picture. The USA will be forced to come into the picture, how is uncertain. Israel will be seen as the aggressor in the eyes of the world and will stand almost alone. War by Rosh Hashana. Mashiach now.

SPEAKING OF LAME DUCKS

I have just returned from a trip from Greece (which was fantastic). While I was there, I had a slight case of cabin fever in a hotel room where the only English channels were news networks. After watching CNN nonstop for two weeks, I have come to the conclusion that certain words have entered my black book of dislikes. These words are the United Nations, summits, forum, Koffi Annan and Bono.

I can't stand this beauty pagent version of world peace and international co-operation where the future of the world depends on the world working together under the glorious banner of the UN and global harmony. The reality is that the world works through a global hegemony and this idealist school of putting all the hopes of the world on the UN is lame to say the least.

Don't get me wrong, the UN has done great things in the past. It played a role in resolving the nuclear crisis of the 1960's and has played a great role in galvanising resources together for humanitarian development, education and so on.

But in the past 10 years, what has the UN actually done? It has missed the boat on so many occassions to take a strong stand in the international political arena. And so it has failed to take the next step as the 'world government', as David Icke would like to say. It missed the boat on Kosovo, Iraq, Afghanistan, Darfur and the list continues. Yes, there have been resolutions in the security council on world issues. But today, world leaders treat these papers like a German Reichsmark of the 1920's. The UN is tangled up with so much bureaucratic red-tape,and has become so PC and middle fenced so as not to offend any country or rock the boat that it has become a mickey mouse club.

Unlike my most esteemed counterpart, El Hermo, I like to provide solutions in my blog writings. However the only solution I see to the UN is for all of us to realise that it is not the solution of mankind and saviour of world chaos. We should merely accept it for what it is, a forum for international opinion where 200 countries get together,draw on a piece of paper, then translate it into 5 other languages, debate over a word on the paper for 360 hours, agree and then file it in the archives.

BACHISMS

Readers of Mach 3 Gets Militant may be confused at the unfamiliar use of slang words in the blog readings. These are Bachisms and here is a guide to assist readers of this blog.
MOTT- an acronym for mad okes, things and times- it is used to justify spontaneous and sometimes irrational actions.
Carpe diem- a philosophy of enacting MOTT
Look at you- an expression of affection compelling inner-self reflection
I Know- an emphasis conveying an acknowledgement of truth in the previous statement
Cockblock- one who places himself as an obstacle to the intent and actions of a counterpart male
Mission- as in missioning- multiple excursions which lack any point or purpose
Spooning- a process of connection with another human being- may be physical, emotional or spiritual etc.
Mach 3- a procedure of acting contrary to the high statistical probabilities of success
H-levels- an adjective and abbreviated version of heishness, meaning keen or wanting
SQA- an acronym for select quote analyse- a procedure of quick action in circumstances where action is required

WHAT IF IRAN WON....

Imagine the year is 2030, after nuclear war and a bunch of soft cock leaders in the west handed themselves over to Mahmud like Czechoslovakia on a stick, the world is dominated by Iran.They actually succeeded in their jihad! Imagine what the world would be like.

Well apart from the obvious renaming of London to New Gaza, Milan to Milanabad and Queen Elizabeth to Shah El-Izahabet, the world would be a very strange place.

Mach 3 jnr, Dee jnr and Jon Hoffman jnr would all be studying law at the University of Lenasia (formerly wits). They wouldnt be studying western evils such as contract and delict but instead would be studying Sharia Law 101 and Intro to Jihad 102. The only place you would be able to know anything about a Jew is in the ancient civilisations course. And on that note, Hollywood, Goldman Sachs, doctors and Woody Allen would no longer exist.

But there is the bright side to all of this. Firstly, petrol would be alot cheaper. Air flights would be alot quicker, as there would be no need for security checks. You can get away with being with an ugly chick as you'll never see her again (she'll be veiled in black).

But, for all you whisky lovers out there, the only way you can get a shot of Jonny Walker would be from a Nigerian in Hillbrow...

So on second thoughts,i'll rather have a Big Mac, high cholestorol and Mtv. GO TEAM USA!

I'M SO WHITE I'M BLACK

It’s 1 in the morning. There is a sound outside; it could be an over-revving car or a cat on the roof. It catches everyone’s concern but the night settles the stir. But then there is that dog that always starts barking, and persists on yapping long after the noise has calmed. This dog is the DA. After 5 minutes of non-stop barking, the dog alerts other dogs on the street and the neighbourhood becomes an orchestra of howling. It is an uncoordinated chorus of dogs from high pitched squeaking to those deep grumble barks. This is the rest of the opposition parties.

And that’s the problem with SA politics. There are so many groups playing their own tune that an opposition to the ANC can’t be pulled together. The DA is considered the ‘official opposition’ but in reality are they?

The DA was traditionally a white left of centre party but because of the shift in SA politics in the 1990’s, they have now become the bona fide right of centre white party with the NNP fading away. But if they remain a right of centre party, they will never grow beyond the 15% bar in elections.

At the same time, there are many factions of right of centre coloured/black parties. There is De Lille’s ID, Bantu’s UDM and the Minority Front to name a few. They, including the DA, all are arguing on the same thing at the end of the day. It’s to break the ANC hegemony, fight corruption, crime…have you not heard this all before? But they can’t do this effectively if all are playing their own tunes.

Let’s face it, a leopard can’t change its spots and Tony will never be a comrade or be invited for tea with the PAC and other lefties. The only way the DA can grow is if it consolidates its power on the right of centre by amalgamating the centre right parties. Some may say this can’t be done because the race card is too divisive. But think about it, why not? There are many uniting issues and concerns which cross this colour barrier, such as crime, the economy etc.

Imagine if an opposition grew to include conservative whites, coloureds and the spillover of the black middle class from the ANC. This is political maturity where a two major party state could emerge like America or Britain to an extent.

But in order to do this, the DA must make a sincere attempt to place people of colour in the top brass of their leadership. Does this mean De Lille should become the new Tony? Does mean that ipso facto, Tony has to step down in order for the DA to grow? As much as I don’t like Patricia and as much as I like Tony, I’m afraid to say this dog has had his day.

POSH & MBEKS

The Zuma trial has shown us that JZ has been in bed, not only with his rape accuser, but with Cosatu, the SACP and certain elements within the ANC. The trial revealed a rift in the ANC which was inevitable, the showdown between Mbeks and JZ.

Revolutions come in two, the political and economic revolutions. The ANC was at the forefront of the 1990’s political revolution and has comfortably placed itself as the hegemonic power in SA politics. Whether we like it or not, the economic revolution is coming. The question now posed is how? The answer lies in the present fork in the road of the ANC.

There are two schools of thought. Mbeks is of the diplomatic, educated Fort Hare crowd. This school subscribes to the creation of a black middle class, an outward economy, NEPAD, elitism, whatever you may call it. Then there is the other school of thought which has made JZ the icon of its cause. This school is still in the umkhonto liberation mould, where JZ is being portrayed as the hero of the man in the street. It more likely the striking security guard in the street he is portraying. But the point is that the youth league, Cosatu and others who are not eating from the BEE pie are looking for a brawl with the new black elite, who, as they believe, have betrayed the cause.

Looking to the future, nothing will happen until 2010. South Africa’s economy will boom, excluding external factors, and everyone will be in shipshape to look our best when the World Cup comes. But after that, the economic revolution will have to be addressed. These are some of the scenarios that could happen in the ANC.

The JZ camp could gather support and South Africa will adopt more ‘socialist’ land reform and distributive policies like Robbie Mugabe. But ceterus paribus, that camp does not have the support necessary to take government and it is most unlikely.

More importantly, the question is how will Mbeks leave the ANC? He is stepping down next year as head of the ANC ahead of elections in 2009. Will he have enough power to put on his prodigy or will he have to compromise to keep the tripartite alliance in order?

Let’s consider the former. If Mbeks leaves his legacy on a future government of his school then we can expect pretty much the same as we have now. A drip drip effect of BEE and a rising middle class. While this is good and addresses inequality, some may argue it is too slow and not reaching the working class. This could become a divisive issue in the long term future which may force the government to adopt more leftist policies to appease the masses.

Now let’s consider the other scenario of a compromise situation now, where Mbeks steps down and is replaced by a mix of his school and the tripartite school. Well then in time, more affirmative action policies would come into place. Having said this, it would not be comparable to the radical change if the JZ school had total power.

Two things are clear. First, the ANC is at a cross-roads. Two, the economic revolution will have to occur. The open ended question is how? Will it be gradual based on keeping status quo or will it be radical.

So there’s no conclusion. But the one thing I can say for sure from the Zuma trial is that showers cure AIDS. The irony is he should have had a cold shower before and not after

THE CLOCK IS TICKING

Are we not beyond Munich already? This is an article found by the honourable Jon Hoffman from an interview between Mahmud and Spiegel. No not what you all are thinking! Spiegel is a German magazine and not Sharon Spiegel who is Bach's object of affection.

SPIEGEL: First you make your remarks about the Holocaust. Then comes the news that you may travel to Germany -- this causes an uproar. So you were surprised after all? Ahmadinejad: No, not at all, because the network of Zionism is very active around the world, in Europe too. So I wasn't surprised. We were addressing the German people. We have nothing to do with Zionists.

SPIEGEL: Denying the Holocaust is punishable in Germany. Are you indifferent when confronted with so much outrage? Ahmadinejad: I know that DER SPIEGEL is a respected magazine. But I don't know whether it is possible for you to publish the truth about the Holocaust. Are you permitted to write everything about it?

SPIEGEL: Of course we are entitled to write about the findings of the past 60 years' historical research. In our view there is no doubt that the Germans -- unfortunately -- bear the guilt for the murder of 6 million Jews. Ahmadinejad: Well, then we have stirred up a very concrete discussion. We are posing two very clear questions. The first is: Did the Holocaust actually take place? You answer this question in the affirmative. So, the second question is: Whose fault was it? The answer to that has to be found in Europe and not in Palestine. It is perfectly clear: If the Holocaust took place in Europe, one also has to find the answer to it in Europe. On the other hand, if the Holocaust didn't take place, why then did this regime of occupation ...

SPIEGEL: ... You mean the state of Israel... Ahmadinejad: ... come about? Why do the European countries commit themselves to defending this regime? Permit me to make one more point. We are of the opinion that, if an historical occurrence conforms to the truth, this truth will be revealed all the more clearly if there is more research into it and more discussion about it.

SPIEGEL: That has long since happened in Germany. Ahmadinejad: We don't want to confirm or deny the Holocaust. We oppose every type of crime against any people. But we want to know whether this crime actually took place or not. If it did, then those who bear the responsibility for it have to be punished, and not the Palestinians. Why isn't research into a deed that occurred 60 years ago permitted? After all, other historical occurrences, some of which lie several thousand years in the past, are open to research, and even the governments support this.

SPIEGEL: Mr. President, with all due respect, the Holocaust occurred, there were concentration camps, there are dossiers on the extermination of the Jews, there has been a great deal of research, and there is neither the slightest doubt about the Holocaust nor about the fact - we greatly regret this - that the Germans are responsible for it. If we may now add one remark: the fate of the Palestinians is an entirely different issue, and this brings us into the present. Ahmadinejad: No, no, the roots of the Palestinian conflict must be sought in history. The Holocaust and Palestine are directly connected with one another. And if the Holocaust actually occurred, then you should permit impartial groups from the whole world to research this. Why do you restrict the research to a certain group? Of course, I don't mean you, but rather the European governments.

SPIEGEL: Are you still saying that the Holocaust is just "a myth?" Ahmadinejad: I will only accept something as truth if I am actually convinced of it.

SPIEGEL: Even though no Western scholars harbor any doubt about the Holocaust? Ahmadinejad: But there are two opinions on this in Europe. One group of scholars or persons, most of them politically motivated, say the Holocaust occurred. Then there is the group of scholars who represent the opposite position and have therefore been imprisoned for the most part. Hence, an impartial group has to come together to investigate and to render an opinion on this very important subject, because the clarification of this issue will contribute to the solution of global problems. Under the pretext of the Holocaust, a very strong polarization has taken place in the world and fronts have been formed. It would therefore be very good if an international and impartial group looked into the matter in order to clarify it once and for all. Normally, governments promote and support the work of researchers on historical events and do not put them in prison.

SPIEGEL: Who is that supposed to be? Which researchers do you mean? Ahmadinejad: You would know this better than I; you have the list. There are people from England, from Germany, France and from Australia.

SPIEGEL: You presumably mean, for example, the Englishman David Irving, the German-Canadian Ernst Zündel, who is on trial in Mannheim, and the Frenchman Georges Theil, all of whom deny the Holocaust. Ahmadinejad: The mere fact that my comments have caused such strong protests, although I'm not a European, and also the fact that I have been compared with certain persons in German history indicates how charged with conflict the atmosphere for research is in your country. Here in Iran you needn't worry.

SPIEGEL: Well, we are conducting this historical debate with you for a very timely purpose. Are you questioning Israel's right to exist? Ahmadinejad: Look here, my views are quite clear. We are saying that if the Holocaust occurred, then Europe must draw the consequences and that it is not Palestine that should pay the price for it. If it did not occur, then the Jews have to go back to where they came from. I believe that the German people today are also prisoners of the Holocaust. Sixty million people died in the Second World War. World War II was a gigantic crime. We condemn it all. We are against bloodshed, regardless of whether a crime was committed against a Muslim or against a Christian or a Jew. But the question is: Why among these 60 million victims are only the Jews the center of attention?

SPIEGEL: That's just not the case. All peoples mourn the victims claimed by the Second World War, Germans and Russians and Poles and others as well. Yet, we as Germans cannot absolve ourselves of a special guilt, namely for the systematic murder of the Jews. But perhaps we should now move on to the next subject. Ahmadinejad: No, I have a question for you. What kind of a role did today's youth play in World War II?

SPIEGEL: None. Ahmadinejad: Why should they have feelings of guilt toward Zionists? Why should the costs of the Zionists be paid out of their pockets? If people committed crimes in the past, then they would have to have been tried 60 years ago. End of story! Why must the German people be humiliated today because a group of people committed crimes in the name of the Germans during the course of history?

SPIEGEL: The German people today can't do anything about it. But there is a sort of collective shame for those deeds done in the German name by our fathers or grandfathers. Ahmadinejad: How can a person who wasn't even alive at the time be held legally responsible?

SPIEGEL: Not legally but morally. Ahmadinejad: Why is such a burden heaped on the German people? The German people of today bear no guilt. Why are the German people not permitted the right to defend themselves? Why are the crimes of one group emphasized so greatly, instead of highlighting the great German cultural heritage? Why should the Germans not have the right to express their opinion freely?

SPIEGEL: Mr. President, we are well aware that German history is not made up of only the 12 years of the Third Reich. Nevertheless, we have to accept that horrible crimes have been committed in the German name. We also own up to this, and it is a great achievement of the Germans in post-war history that they have grappled critically with their past. Ahmadinejad: Are you also prepared to tell that to the German people?

SPIEGEL: Oh yes, we do that. Ahmadinejad: Then would you also permit an impartial group to ask the German people whether it shares your opinion? No people accepts its own humiliation.

SPIEGEL: All questions are allowed in our country. But of course there are right-wing radicals in Germany who are not only anti-Semitic, but xenophobic as well, and we do indeed consider them a threat. Ahmadinejad: Let me ask you one thing: How much longer can this go on? How much longer do you think the German people have to accept being taken hostage by the Zionists? When will that end - in 20, 50, 1,000 years?

SPIEGEL: We can only speak for ourselves. DER SPIEGEL is nobody's hostage; SPIEGEL does not deal only with Germany's past and the Germans' crimes. We're not Israel's uncritical ally in the Palestian conflict. But we want to make one thing very clear: We are critical, we are independent, but we won't simply stand by without protest when the existential right of the state of Israel, where many Holocaust survivors live, is being questioned. Ahmadinejad: Precisely that is our point. Why should you feel obliged to the Zionists? If there really had been a Holocaust, Israel ought to be located in Europe, not in Palestine.

SPIEGEL: Do you want to resettle a whole people 60 years after the end of the war? Ahmadinejad: Five million Palestinians have not had a home for 60 years. It is amazing really: You have been paying reparations for the Holocaust for 60 years and will have to keep paying up for another 100 years. Why then is the fate of the Palestinians no issue here?

SPIEGEL: The Europeans support the Palestinians in many ways. After all, we also have an historic responsibility to help bring peace to this region finally. But don't you share that responsibility? Ahmadinejad: Yes, but aggression, occupation and a repetition of the Holocaust won't bring peace. What we want is a sustainable peace. This means that we have to tackle the root of the problem. I am pleased to note that you are honest people and admit that you are obliged to support the Zionists.

SPIEGEL: That's not what we said, Mr. President. Ahmadinejad: You said Israelis.

The Islamic 4^th Reich

There was once a nation that achieved great advancement in industrialisation and success but all this achievement was shattered by war. They went through economic and political strife and faced a reality that their needs were out of scope with their wants. An isolated few blackmailed the entire nation into a new order of blaming the rest of the world for their failures. More specifically the focus of all their problems revolved around the eternal Jew. This nation was of course the Germans.

Today, there is another group, who once had a golden age of growth and prosperity but this was ‘shattered’ by the so-called imperialism and economic isolation. These people feel that they have been given an unfair hand and that their culture and beliefs are being jeopardised by infidels and outside forces. More and more, there are many in this group who are turning to a radical ideology of bringing back the glory of their people through war, jihad and intolerance. And of course, the focus of their hatred is the Jew. These people are the radical and extremist Islamists who are the new Amalek in the world.

This ever-increasing group is united by the doctrines and ideologies of Ayatollah Khomeini. The constituent groups are diverse in their objectives, whether it is Hizbollah, Hamas, Iran, or Al Qaeda but they are united by a common goal. This goal is a restoration of Islamic supremacy across the Middle East. These groups are interconnected and fuel each other with a culture of martyrdom and jihad. Take Iran for example. It would be naïve to believe that their own nuclear proliferation, support of Palestinian suicide bombings and call for the ‘Israel to be wiped off the map’ are not linked. The puzzle all fits and each piece fits in to the other like a domino sequence.

The manifestation of the extremists’ goal takes many disguises, whether it is the angle of fighting occupation or fighting imperialism or just plain old fashioned frustration. But make no mistake, these excuses are masking the reality of their true intent.

This intent is the restoration of the past caliphates and expanding the empire to its past glory days where all soil touched by a Muslim will remain under the caliphates’ control. It is far beyond occupation and self-determination. To assume otherwise would be as if to say that the only thing the Nazi government wanted was to remilitarise the Rhineland. They are out to find lebensraum for their herenvolk.

And as history has spelled out time after time the scape-goat is always the Jew. It is not only Israeli occupation of Palestinians that encourages jihadi hatred. If it were, then why were 2 Jewish synagogues bombed in Turkey? If it were then why did President Ahmedinejad of Iran deny the Holocaust? If it were then why were the protocols of Zion available on the street at the Durban Race Conference in 2001? It is no coincidence that the name Iran is a derivative from ‘Aryan’ who are their supposed ancient cousins.

Jews know that history repeats itself and we have found this generations Amalek. We are living in 1939. Munich, Nuremberg, Sudetenland have all passed and now all that is left is the true face of our enemy’s intentions. It is a time for more Churchills and less Chamberlains. The chess board has been set, the pieces are positioned. It is time for you to pick your side.

Guess Who's Cleavage?

In conjunction to the Benni competition, there is also a competition to find out who's cleavage is in the picture? I'll give you a clue...its not Benni. The winner of this competition will get a free picture of cleavage as well as a hand shake from Mach 3 (terms and conditions apply).

Those of you more educated people might be wondering where are my satirical and political essays on this blog. They will come in time. I just dont have time now. So i'd thought i'd keep my fans entertained by these competitions. But watch out for future articles such as 'S v Zuma' and my political predictions for the year. Also look out for many of your favourite characters including Hitler and Friends in the upcoming episodes.

Essence Of Bubu



Thanks for the picture herms. I'm starting a competition to see how many people have can post this picture on their own blog. Contact me when you do!

The Importance of Tachlis

I have come to the conclusion that if I had a favourite word it would be tachlis. It sounds good and has a guttural sound that makes it affirmative and proactive. And that is the very nature of the word. For those of you who don’t know what it means, it means bottom line but its connotations are so much more. It is a philosophy that can be applied to any situation in life.

In business it means when you are having a meeting, you have to cut to the chase and you can’t leave the meeting without tachlis, something tangible.

In social life, how much time do we waste just talking about crap and always say ‘lets meet up’ but never do. In this case, we should get tachlis and make a plan of action by doing something.

Even with chicks, we spend 90% of our lives strategizing on how to be a ‘playa in the game’. If a girl is messing you around and there is no tachlis, then drop it.

Tachlis is the way of the future. So what’s the tachlis of writing about tachlis on my blog (which has nothing to do with tachlis)? The answer is in the question.

10 Reasons to Love Mach 3

1. He is low maintenance
2. He knows most of the world’s capitals
3. He does not care about low fat or diet food
4. He had a mullet (pronounced moolay)
5. He can converse with the elderly
6. He is not anti-Bush
7. He is mildly attractive, especially to the elderly
8. He thinks everyone with blue eyes is a Nazi
9. He has read less than 10 books in his life
10. He actively supports and endorses the H Team

THE H TEAM

Mach 3 is part of the H-team. Castor Troye is Mach 3's psuedo name when he is drunk. So what does this all mean? The H- Team is a multi-national corporation which is a subsidiary of the Council of the Pimp Legion who's founder, the one they call Yoav, is the father figure of the empire.

The H Team is a group of concerned citizens interested in spreading heishness across the world and decreasing heishness for its members. The organisation's leader, Jon Hoffman, who prefers to be known as Jon Hoffman , sits as its chair. Not anyone can be part of the H team and there are rules and procedures.

1. You must be heished or h levels must be at a substantial level
2. You must be aware of and appreciate the twins
3. You must be single, or desperate. H members who have found relationships are honourary members
4. You must know the secret H team chant
5. You must follow the ancient principles of Bachisms
6. In light of the above, it is bros before ho's
7. Once you are part of the H team, you cannot leave (subject to section 3)
8. Chicks must be the cause and solution to your problems

The H team are not so superficial as to only care about action. The H team encourages hetrosexual male bonding, otherwise known as spooning. The H team also involves itself in charity work by helping its members study, pick up girls, go on free holidays and access clubs. The H Team have also extended this charity to the broader community by occassionaly assisting girls who prey on heishness.

GO TO HELL IRAN


The Iranian President’s recent comment of wiping Israel off the map was outright disgusting and unacceptable. Following this verbal abuse on Israel, The UN condemned President Ahmadinejad and the Iranian government. However, as the weeks have progressed, the comment unfortunately has been sidelined from the international media. Even though the outcry from the international community has subsided, the underlying issue of ant-semitism still remains.

It would be naïve to believe that there is no link between Ahmadinejad’s comment, terrorism and nuclear proliferation. In fact, his remark reaffirms Iran’s intent to promote violence and terror against Israel. Such an idea is not new and in many ways it echoes the Nazi propaganda of the 1930’s. It is a sad reality that anti-semitism, through the form of anti-Zionism or whichever term is fashionable, is still alive in the 21st century despite the lessons learnt in the past century.

The gravity of this statement, naturally, has been downplayed by sympathisers towards Iran and somewhat trivialised in global politics. But as Jews, we know that the intent behind this comment is still there and that such a remark cannot be ignored. In light of the comment, this resurgence in anti-semitism and the constant threat of global terrorism, I wonder what type of society will govern the future generation. The previous generation of Jews was defined by the miracle of the Six Day War, and the generation before that was defined by the building of the State of Israel out of the ashes of the Holocaust. In the future what will define our generation? Will it be a society governed by terrorism and anti-Semitism where suicide bombings and the threat of nuclear war are the norm? Or will we be a generation that will be defined as the ones who stood up to terrorism and injustice against our people? I sincerely hope that we will be the latter.

CAMPUS STEREOTYPES


After 3 years of sitting on the steps of the Great Hall at Wits University almost every day, I have seen just about everyone there is to see on campus. Although, the clichés are that everyone is an ‘individual’ and no-one is ‘stereotyped’ at varsity, I can’t help myself from categorising different people at varsity. And the more I think about it, the more I realise that you can tell a lot about a person by what degree he/she is doing. With some exceptions, every faculty has their own stereotype. So I encourage you to read this article to see if you can identify with my stereotypes……….

Bcom- These guys are by far the most arrogant group on campus. They think varsity is a mere hiccup on their way to the top of the corporate ladder. How do you spot them? Well firstly, it’s in their laugh…you can hear the arrogance in it a mile away. They always wear Puma takkies and a Puma top, clean cut jeans and all have yellow LIVESTRONG bands.
BAcc- These are simply the nerdish counterparts of the Bcom students. How do you spot them? The guys that were the brainy maths guys in school who everyone used to copy are 9 times out of 10 the same people doing a BAcc
Engineering- These guys are one of the weirdest group on campus. They are a breed of their own, very cliquey, and do stupid things at varsity that they think are cool but everyone just looks at them as if they were fools. How do you spot them? Just look for students wearing slops and shorts in winter, and for no reason whatsoever, wear suits on a Friday.
Architecture- These are the pseudo-hippies on campus who want to be chilled BA students but no matter how hard they try, they will always be architecture students. How do you spot them? They are the ones at bars on campus on a Friday afternoon trying to mingle with the BA students. Hint- they usually have curly hair.
BA- There are two very different types of BA students. There are the BA students who truly believe that they will be the next President of South Africa. These people do subjects like international relations and politics. These are the ones on campus who are just looking for a fight or something to bitch about. How do you spot them? Look out for someone using big words that no-one understands, not even the guy using them. Hint- these words usually end in –ism. The second group of BA students are the real hippies on campus. They are ‘like totally whoa’…. doing subjects like philosophy and sociology. How do you spot them? They have torn jeans and wear cheap hemp clothing.
Law- These students are the typical preppy, ‘I should be in Harvard’ type students. Short, aggressive girls with complexes of not being heard usually study this degree. How do you spot them? Look out for short aggressive girls.
Med- These students, in theory, are the ones who are at the top in almost every aspect. They obviously have a lot of money to study this degree and the brains necessary for passing. How do you spot them? In order to spot them, you have to not spot them (if that makes sense) as they are always locked in lectures or their bedrooms studying their butts off, trying to catch up the work that is catch-up work already.
BSc- It is very difficult to separate a BSc student from a BAcc student. But generally, BSc students are fanatical about 3 things: Star Wars, computers and chess. How do you spot them? Type in a BSc student’s name on the internet, he should have his own website.
Speech and Hearing- Lets face it; this is a degree only for girls. These are the type of girls who you take home to meet the family. How do you spot them? Look out for conservatively dressed girls on campus, but don’t confuse them with the librarians.
Education- This is another degree strictly for girls. Girls doing this were too dumb to get into speech and hearing and not pretty enough to get into FHM. How do you spot them? Girls walking around campus who think they’re hot…but they actually not.
Drama- This group includes fine art and musician students. They are wannabee Cape Townian non-conformists and are usually doing this degree just to prove that they are not conforming…but in reality aren’t they conforming to non-conformity? How do you spot them? They don’t wear jeans, but wear palazzos and other biodegradable items of clothing. To top it off, they wear cheap accessories wherever they can attach them.

So you most probably thinking, well Mr. Stereotype, what degree do you study? Well, which other person critically analyses social situations and bitches about other people while not doing anything about it…. a BA student of course.

Article written by Spud